Hegelian Thoughts on Black Metal

Black metal band Mayhem (left) and unblack Christian band Antestor (right) Black metal has an infamous history of murder, church burning, and satanism. However, almost from the beginning of the second wave of black metal (1990s), Christian black metal (or, 'holy unblack metal') maintains a thriving community and generates an interesting artistic response. It used … Continue reading Hegelian Thoughts on Black Metal

“Hi-Tops” (1985) — Christian Teen Musical so Cringy It Might Kill You

Today, we are gonna strap on our high tops shoes, skip into dance class, and watch a musical about how the devil is using peer pressure to destroy your life. If you're looking for Tony-caliber performances, iconic music, and captivating narrative, then you've definitely come to the wrong place. But if you want a cheesy … Continue reading “Hi-Tops” (1985) — Christian Teen Musical so Cringy It Might Kill You

Review: “Prodigal Planet” (1983) — Using Pirate Radio to Defeat the AntiChrist’s Army

If you wish to watch the full movie, you can do so here: https://vimeo.com/70210504 It's time for the fourth and final installment in the A Thief in the Night series -- a Christian quadrilogy about the End of the World. Before the Left Behind movies and Kirk Cameron's perfect smile dazzled us with apocalyptic fear-mongering, … Continue reading Review: “Prodigal Planet” (1983) — Using Pirate Radio to Defeat the AntiChrist’s Army

A Brief History of Christian Film

With a few acceptions, Christian movies are notoriously atrocious. Extremely low budgets, sermon-dialogue, unrealistic plots, and poor acting can be expected in almost every movie you see. It's doubtful that things will change anytime soon, and if you are like me and thoroughly enjoy low-brow B-Movies, then you are praying it never will. Nonetheless, it is still important to ask ourselves: How did we get here? So today, I'm going to give a brief overview the Christian film industry's history. I hope you enjoy.

Review: “A Distant Thunder” (Part 2 of the “A Thief in the Night” series). Apocalyptic Christploitation Film (1978)

You can watch the full video here if you wish: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlqCndGzq28 My last review covered the first installment in this evangelical quadrilogy, A Thief in the Night. You can read it here.  Background on the Genre A Distant Thunder focuses on the End Times and the Rapture. A popular belief within evangelicalism is the position … Continue reading Review: “A Distant Thunder” (Part 2 of the “A Thief in the Night” series). Apocalyptic Christploitation Film (1978)

“A Lenten Journey Through Psychedelic Christian Rock”

You can watch the whole video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-DZko8quAvc Recently, I've been discovering all sorts of Christian psychedelic music from the 60s-70s. I'm obsessed. This music is fascinating, and a lot of it is quite good. Bands like Azitis produced amazing and trippy music, and the Electric Prunes were one of many bands to make a … Continue reading “A Lenten Journey Through Psychedelic Christian Rock”

Churches in Horror Movies Part 1: “The Exorcist” and “Exorcist III”

I'm a huge fan of horror movies, but also love church architecture and 'churchwave' aesthetic (it's the name of my blog after all). So for this new series that will pop up from time to time, I'm going to write about the churches/chapels featured in horror movies. The Exorcist The Exorcist (1976) is quite possible … Continue reading Churches in Horror Movies Part 1: “The Exorcist” and “Exorcist III”

Short Bio: Ron Ormond — Director of Christian Grindhouse/Exploitation Films (“Christploitation”)

TL;DR Ron Ormond was a director of cheap exploitation and grindhouse films who converted to Christianity. He then took his director style and made cheap Christian propaganda films full of gore and terror -- hence the name "Christploitation." Background Ron Ormond (1910-1981) was born in Baldwin, Louisiana. He started his career in showbiz as a … Continue reading Short Bio: Ron Ormond — Director of Christian Grindhouse/Exploitation Films (“Christploitation”)

Album: “Christmastime at North Hills Mall”

One of my favorite things about the holiday season is Christmas-themed vaporwave music. Given the nostalgic nature of vaporwave, it always manages to take me back to the Christmas of my childhood. Speaking of which, one of the earliest Christmas memories I have is of my mom taking me to North Hills Mall during Christmas. … Continue reading Album: “Christmastime at North Hills Mall”

Review: Michael W. Smith’s “Christmas” (1989)

Michael W. Smith is the Christian king of the Christmas season, and this is the album that gave him his crown. Christmas was Smith's first holiday-themed album, and was the soundtrack of my childhood Christmas. About 6 years ago, I would've naively told you that this album is garbage because Smith is a washed out, … Continue reading Review: Michael W. Smith’s “Christmas” (1989)

Jim and Tammy Bakker’s Christmas Parade (1986)

Jim Bakker -- Lord of Buckets, master of the incoming apocalypse -- hosts a Christmas parade on his now defunct televisual program with his now divorced wife. Get ready for the night of your life. If you want to watch it before reading the interview, you can do so here Or, you can watch my … Continue reading Jim and Tammy Bakker’s Christmas Parade (1986)

Memory: The Greatest Christmas Ornament of All Time

This ornament of the batmobile featuring a headless Robin is undoubtedly my favorite of all time. It's been in my family for at least a couple of decades. In fact, my earliest memory of decorating the family Christmas tree is of me wondering how Robin lost his head. For a few years, my brother and … Continue reading Memory: The Greatest Christmas Ornament of All Time

Review: “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” (Film) [1983]

Tonight, I sat down with a beer to watch The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. If you want to watch it for yourself before reading my review, you can do so here Background This is a film adaption of a book by the same name written by Barbara Robinson in 1971. It's about -- you guessed … Continue reading Review: “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” (Film) [1983]